When Your Child Struggles to Attend School

As parents and carers, many of us will face times when our child finds it hard to go to school. Some mornings are harder than others: perhaps they don’t want to put on their uniform, their stomach aches suddenly appear, or they feel a deep sense of dread about going in.

For some children, these moments are occasional blips that soon pass. But for others, the worry can grow, day after day, until attending school feels impossible. This is often described as Emotionally Based School Non-Attendance (EBSNA). When this happens, what started as a few difficult mornings can begin to affect their overall attendance, confidence, and wellbeing.

This can leave us feeling worried, frustrated, and unsure about the best way to help. However, when we better understand what sits behind our child’s worries, we can then gently support them—and ourselves—through it.

Understanding some of the barriers to school attendance

Every child is unique, and the reasons they may struggle with attending school will vary. By noticing patterns, listening, and keeping an open mind, we can begin to understand what might be going on.

Some common barriers might include:

• Anxiety and worry. Many children feel anxious about separating from us, facing social situations, or managing classroom expectations. These feelings can be overwhelming and very real.
• Friendship challenges. Difficulties with friendships, feeling left out, or experiencing bullying can make school feel unsafe or unwelcoming.
• Learning needs. If a child is struggling to keep up, or feels work is too difficult (or sometimes not challenging enough), school may become a place of stress.
• Changes at home. Moving house, family separation, illness, or loss can all affect how a child feels about leaving their home and coping with the school day.
• Physical health. Tiredness, poor sleep, or health conditions can make the school day harder to face.
• Teenage pressures. For older children, the demands of exams, social pressures, or feeling misunderstood by adults can all play a part.